Who helps make you a better person?
Finding a virtual mentor
When I was younger, I wished I had a mentor. Someone older and wiser, someone who could share experiences so I wouldn’t make so many mistakes. Sure, I had my parents around (kind of, they were divorced and lived far apart) but they were so busy trying to make ends meet that surviving trumped helping the kids put together a life plan. Besides, even if they had the time, how could they help us with something they didn’t know how to do themselves?
When I asked my mom for help, the reply was sweet, encouraging and usually along the lines of, “figure it out, that’s why you have a brain.” Then I’d trial and error my way to a solution or give up in defeat. To my mom’s credit, this helped me build a resilient, “can do” attitude. It also created a real aversion to asking for help which served me for a while but became a liability over time.
In many cases, we can “figure it out” but not everything needs to be figured out, we can learn from others so we do things right the first time or in a fraction of the time. Learning everything the hard way, by making mistakes, is a great way to drive home the lessons but is also painful, costly and time consuming. I could’ve done with some guidance and I’m guessing you can too.
Virtual Mentor
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn
We all realize that some people build us up and bring joy to our lives while others make us feel small and suck the life right out of us. When we surround ourselves with the people we want to be like, we elevate who we are. So where do we find these people? Easy, just go out and engage with a group of enlightened, balanced, powerful, generous, fill in the blank with what you admire about people who also have plenty of time to spend with you, and become friends, right? That’s one way to do it, but there’s a better way.
Find yourself virtual mentors. People who you can summon, on demand, who can help you build the mindset and character you covet. Hopefully you have some already?
I’ll share some of my virtual mentors. These are folks I’ve read or listened to that have helped me change my way of thinking, figure out (some of) my faults, and be a better version of myself:
Zig Ziglar - I list him first because he was one of the first motivational speakers I ever listened to and as a teenager, his advice was unlike anything I was getting at school, at home or with my friends. I was on a call recently with people in their 20s-40s. Zig came up and I was shocked that most of the people on the call under 40 hadn’t heard of him. He’s one of the greatest motivational speakers in recent history and his books and audiobooks are gold. Sure, he was old when I first heard of him decades ago and he’s passed now but his advice is timeless and you really can change your mindset quickly by listening to him. Here he is talking about attitude and listen to part of his born to win seminar prior to getting the full version. No need to buy anything, you can get his audiobooks for free on Hoopla.
Tim Ferriss - Tim has written a number of great books filled with hundreds of successful people from every field and every background, you’re bound to find some great voices from Tribe of Mentors and Tools of Titans.
Even more important for me was The Four Hour Body which taught me how to eat properly. If you are not happy with your weight, read this book!
Tim’s podcast has become my gateway into countless Virtual Mentors who have impacted my life. Here are a few of my favorite episodes from people that can become your on demand virtual mentors too since they have their own podcasts or newsletters:
Here are a few episodes from people you’ve heard of but may find their stories compelling and inspiring like I did:
Arnold Schwarzenegger - turning your liabilities into assets
Mr. Money Mustache - He retired at the age of 30 and has been living the dream for almost 2 decades all the while writing about his journey. His blog is full of ideas about how to think about money and life in a much different way than you get from mainstream media or your friends and family. He also deals with many of the issues of retirement that pop up at any age, his experiences will help you. If you are in the FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) community, you have heard of him as he’s an OG or OF in this case. If you haven’t heard of him, a gold mine awaits. By reading his blog and putting even a fraction of his advice to use, you will absolutely save thousands of dollars in no time. Here are a few of his posts that I like but do yourself a favor and start from the beginning of his blog:
Jason Zweig - writes the Intelligent Investor column for the Wall Street Journal. While the WSJ is nowhere near as great as it once was, Jason’s column is the exception and will help you become a better investor which by itself is worth the cost of a digital subscription. In a world of people hawking a bunch of crap we don’t need, Jason’s honest, well-researched unique lens into investing while using history, art, methods of clear thinking and experts who proved to be wrong teaches us that no one will take care of our money better than we can. I also love his comments section.
Here are a few of his wonderful articles (you’ll need a WSJ subscription):
A few other names of folks worth digging into: Kevin Rose, Seth Godin, Ester Perel, Andrew Huberman and of course Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger.
You have a brain….
Fill it with the right stuff. By bringing virtual mentors into your life (ie during runs or drives), you can find keys to unlocking the best version of yourself. You will surround yourself with the people you want to be like whenever you’re in the mood.
Age has a way of helping us realize how many gaps we have in our education. What are your blind spots? I’ve always been crap at understanding health. Boom, here’s Peter Attia to offer his knowledge in a way I can actually digest. There are so many brilliant and successful people out there, who are more accessible than ever, offering us guidance and filling in the gaps if only we know where to look.
Who are the mentors helping you become the best version of yourself? Please list them in the comments section.
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